There's a story about a small boy who was trying to lift a heavy stone, but he couldn't budge it. His father, passing by, stopped to watch his efforts. Finally he said to his son: "Are you using all your strength?"

"Yes, I am," the boy cried, exasperated.

"No," the father said calmly, "you're not. You haven't asked me to help you."

We do better in this world when we have someone to help us. This is a hard truth when we see ourselves as self-made and independent. In some ways independence is a virtue, but in other ways it is a vice.

When Jesus established the Christian church, it was not on the basis of independence, but on the basis of partnership. Peter, James and John were partners in fishing when Jesus called them to become partners with him in evangelism. Luke 5:10. Paul said believers are called into a "partnership in the gospel". Philippians 1:5. He saw himself as a partner with believers, and usually took with him a partner in ministry. See Philemon 1:17; 2 Corinthians 8:23.

The Greek word translated "partner" in these scriptures is a variation of the well-known word koinonia. This word speaks about companionship, communion, sharing, and fellowship.

At the heart of such fellowship is prayer, because prayer establishes partnership in God. Jesus illustrated this in Gethsemane the night before his crucifixion, when he asked his closest companions to stay awake and pray with him.

Is there a partnership of prayer in your life? Is there a trusted person who prays for you regularly, and for whom your own thoughts rise in prayer day by day?

The elements of a partnership in prayer are simple. First, each person commits to pray for the other daily. Second, the partners pray together—in person or by phone—at least once a week. Third, whenever a special need arises, the partners communicate that need with each other, and give time to prayer over it. And fourth, the partners commit to praise God consistently in all the challenges and blessings of their lives.

We must be aware that the devil hates this kind of prayer partnership, because he knows the strength of it. So there are some important safeguards.

A husband and wife can be excellent prayer partners within their marriage, but otherwise prayer partnerships should be same-gender. Partners must allow equal focus and time one to another, so that one of the partners does not dominate; each partner should think more about giving than receiving. The partnership should be for spiritual support, not for attempted therapy. Each partner should respect the time and available energy of the other. And most importantly, each must be committed to faithfulness, integrity and confidentiality in the partnership.

Prayer partnerships don't have to be life-long. Circumstances change, needs change. God brings a variety of people into our lives—the right people for the right time. It may be a good idea to think of a prayer partnership as a one-year commitment, renewable as each partner feels led. If I do not have a partner in prayer, how can I find one? There is only one safe and effective way, and that is to pray for it. Keep praying and hoping, and look for God's leading.

Remember you are looking not for a friend, but for a partner in prayer. Friendship may grow out of the prayer partnership, and a friend can make a good prayer partner, but the two roles are distinct.

My own life is enriched with a meaningful prayer partnership with my wife, Betty. How often she prays the exact best word of God into my mind! And I enjoy an enduring prayer partnership with two close friends, Tim and Chris. Their support in prayer provides an immeasurable spiritual lift for me each week.

I was not always blessed this way, and I realise you might not be. So now I am praying that you will begin to seek and find the joy of a meaningful partnership in prayer.

This article first appeared in modified form in Mid-America Outlook, October 2004. Copyright © 2009 by Ed Gallagher (South Pacific edition). / Scripture quotations taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission.